Struggling to concieve: remain positive and don’t lose hope

When I decided to have a family, I prepared my body because I wasn’t sure if I was able to conceive. After six months of trying, I was blessed and got pregnant. But during that  journey, I met amazing women that shared their stories and struggles to get pregnant. To the women struggling to concieve, I empathize and comprehend your pain. You might not want to talk about it and perhaps the people around you seem to say the wrong things; but I encourage you to share your story because you are not alone.

Healthy life

A year before I started trying, I decided to live a healthier lifestyle. I increased my workouts, ate healthier, eliminated alcohol and cut down on coffee. When I wanted to get pregnant, each morning, I took my body temperature. Before I even got out of bed, I had the thermometer next to me and noted my body temperature. I downloaded an app that would keep track of the days I was menstruating, the days I was fertile and ovulating. It suggested what days I should have sex. However, nothing was happening and I was stress out about it.

My fault

A friend told me to enjoy the baby-making process, because if I was stressed, my body would not get pregnant. My husband told me he felt a lot of pressure, that it was no longer fun and he felt like he was disappointing me. I told him I was scarred that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant and I was disappointing myself. I felt like it was my fault, that my body was useless or that maybe I was being punished.

Be patient

It seemed like everyone around me was getting pregnant. I started opening up to a few friends and they told me they or someone they knew was going through a similar situation. My friends told me to pray, have faith, be patient and to be informed about my options.

Women and babys

I talked to three women that was struggling to concieve. They went through the IVF process. They told me about the medical appointments, the medication, the injections, the blood work, and the emotional stress. They explained how expensive it is and how devastating it was to hear the first round failed. One friend was successful on her second try but the other is currently going for round two. The third friend that tried IVF actually got pregnant, however, the baby did not survive. This woman is truly amazing and God has blessed her with a child. She chose the surrogate route but kept it a secret. Months after the baby was born, she revealed her secret. Two women I met were denied in the adoption process but after a decade of trying they were able to conceive. Two other women I know had surgery before conceiving. One is now pregnant and the other one is still trying.

More options

The medical field has advanced and women that are struggling to concieve have more options. But perhaps you don’t want to think about those options because you hope your body will naturally get pregnant and that is perfectly fine. Please don’t compare yourself to others, the grass isn’t greener on the other side. If you are struggling to conceive, please share your story because you will discover there’s someone that can relate to you. Women, we need to support one another and if your dream is to have a child, remain positive and don’t lose hope.

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