Since I’ve announced this pregnancy, several women confided in me their desire to have kids and plans to try and conceive this year. They said they were scared of pregnancy and labor. Pregnancy is the easy part of motherhood.
Pregnancy is different for women and when I say it’s easy, I don’t mean that it doesn’t come with difficulties
What I mean is that you should prepare for and be nervous/anxious/scared/emotional when the baby arrives. I am brutally honest and I always tell people, having kids is not for everyone.
Pregnancy is not a walk in the park but it will test your pain level, patience, emotional and physical being. There will be lots of doctor appointments, urine tests, blood tests; so if you don’t like needles or hospitals, you’re in for a rude awakening. You have to do paperwork, hospital tours, look into doctors, pediatricians, etc. It’s costly so you have to look into health insurance and costs.
It will physically transform you
There will be weight gain, stretch marks, constipation, bloating, water retention, leg cramps and overall it’s uncomfortable. You won’t be able to sleep or eat. Morning sickness can be brutal and you will pee so frequently that at some point it seems like you live in a bathroom. There will be activities you can’t participate in. There will be foods, drinks (alcohol), and medications you can’t have. If you get sick with the cold, or flu, you will basically have to suck it up. It’s important to see your doctor, but you can’t take most medications.
Emotionally it’s overwhelming
Your hormones take over and like the movies, you end up crying over random things. You read and Google so much that you freak yourself out. You’re overwhelmed with the amount of things you need to buy. You worry about finances, day care, your job, etc. You worry about situations that don’t even exist or may never exist. But most of all, you worry about being a good mom. You worry about how you will raise this human and the responsibility that lies ahead. No wonder we can’t sleep!
But guess what? After 9 months and giving birth, pregnancy will definitely be a walk in the park
Labor is a whole other topic, but it’s temporary. Your experience will last hours or a few days, but it’s inevitable. The real work begins once baby actually arrives. The physical and emotional changes intensify. The lack of sleep and exhaustion is nothing compared to how it was in pregnancy. The emotional whirlwinds take a toll on you as you figure out how to care for this newborn. The financial stress is higher and now you have even more doctor appointments.
Motherhood is not for everyone
It’s a huge sacrifice. Any woman can give birth, but not every woman can be a mom. It’s beautiful, but it’s not easy. You really need to reflect on what it is you want in life and whether motherhood is truly something you’re willing to sacrifice for. You need to think about why you want kids. You can’t let family, a partner or society pressure you into having kids because at the end of the day, it’s you who will birth the child and it’s your life that will change. So if you’re scared to get pregnant or fear child birth, think deeply about what exactly is your fear. Pregnancy lasts a few months, being a mom is a lifetime commitment.