Worst part of pregnancy: my job

The worst part of my pregnancy was my job. A month into my new job, I found out I was pregnant. I was nervous about telling my team but they were all women, so I assumed they would be thrilled for me. However, I waited until after the first trimester because of the known risks of miscarriage. 

With a huge smile on my face I announced my pregnancy

At 5 months of pregnancy, with a huge smile on my face I announced my pregnancy. To my surprise, my boss had no expression on her face and said: “Congratulations, please sit down.” She went off telling me how I was disappointing and ripped me about my poor performance. My job was on the line and would be placed on probation. She called in the HR rep and made me sign a piece of paper. I had a month to improve and prove myself. 

I ran to the bathroom and had a meltdown

As I picked up my jaw from the floor, I ran to the bathroom and had a meltdown. They had never given me this feedback and never mentioned any of this before. Why now? I was gonna loose my job when I needed it the most. I needed the money, the health insurance. How will I pay my rent? How will I cover the medical costs? What will happen with my career? Should I just quit? Won’t it look bad on my resume if I’m fired? I’ve never been fired before! Can I sue them? Is this because I’m pregnant? 

I worked long 10-hour work days. I got cold shoulders and the silent treatment. I had to let them know when I was taking a bathroom break, which was frequent and something I couldn’t control. I had no lunch break and ate at my desk. I was the first one in and the last to leave. Each Friday I got an evaluation of my progress and but sometimes I just prayed to get fired. 

 

The day I felt my son kick for the first time is the day it all clicked

That day I had a doctors appointment and I overheard a women had complications and would be put on bed rest. As I had my ultrasound done, there was my son, kicking me. I didn’t want to transmit negative emotions to my baby. I didn’t want to cause pregnancy complications and affect the development of my son. I had to be strong and full of positive energy.

I wrote: “The only thing that matters is my son”

In a post-it I wrote: “The only thing that matters is my son”. I would stare at it every time I was stress. When I was flustered or having a bad moment, I would feel a kick and it automatically made me smile. I would talk to him all day long and as I rubbed my belly, I would tell myself it would soon be over. Each night when I got home, I would put up my feet and cross out the day on the calendar. When my boss would yell at me and complain about my work, I would fight back the tears and remind myself that the only tears worth crying are of joy when I meet my baby. 

Pregnant women don’t want a free pass or special treatment. They don’t expect anything but don’t want to be treated like their incapable of performing the job. I’m not sure if some people feel like it’s a waste of time and money to invest in an employee that will leave soon. I don’t know if it angers people that they have to take over her responsibilities when she’s on maternity leave. All we want is just to be treated kindly and not feel like a robot. That it’s ok if we need a break, to sit down, or extra 5 minutes to get to the meeting on time. I never understood why my boss treated me like she did, especially since she was a mom. But in the end, all things fall into place. I’m now a stay at home mom and have the most rewarding job, being a mom.  

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