In a pregnancy online chat group, one soon to be mom asked about sex after childbirth. She asked if it was really necessary to wait 4-6weeks because she can’t go that long without having sex with her husband. Obviously it’s your call, but once you give birth, you won’t be thinking about sex.
During pregnancy, hormones cause your sex drive to increase or decrease.
If you’re feeling horny, you wish to keep after childbirth. If you’re not in the mood for sex, you want your sex life to go back to normal once you give birth. But after labor, it’s the farthest thing from your mind.
Having a newborn is overwhelming and a life adjustment. You are learning how to care for this baby. You are sleep deprived; so exhausted you may even go days without taking a shower and live in the same clothes. You have endless laundry, a house to clean and dinner to make.
There’s a lot on your plate, including your relationship.
The baby can cause a rift because your baby will take up all of your time. You want to feel like your old self but sleep deprivation wins. It’s hard to find the energy to do your hair and make-up. You can’t exercise yet so you may feel uncomfortable with your body. You’re bleeding and your breasts are probably leaking. It’s too soon for a date night. You need to find
someone adequate to take care of your newborn. Most likely your only outings are to the pediatrician’s office or grocery store; and even that can be a challenge. It can be overwhelming to handle the baby, diaper bag, carseat and stroller on your own. So to avoid the hassle, you choose not to go out.
The reality is that your partner becomes last and your relationship takes a backseat.
It’s not intentional and it’s very common. Most women struggle during the newborn phase and can have postpartum depression, anxiety or baby blues. Some women say it takes them months even a year to get their sex drive back. Some women don’t enjoy sex like they used to, which can create tension in the relationship or self-guilt. You’re not to blame; it’s perfectly normal. You’re a new woman; having a baby changes everything,
Let your body heal. Whether you had a vaginal or cesarean birth, tearing,
hemorrhoids, constipation, etc., your vagina needs to heal.
The hormonal changes leave your vagina dry and tender, which can cause pain during sex. Your pelvic muscles will be stretched out so give your body time to naturally heal. Also, don’t forget about birth control. You just had a baby, are you ready for another one so soon? Breastfeeding is not a contraceptive method and you can get pregnant. So is it really necessary to wait to have sex after childbirth? Yes, it is. You won’t be so eager to have sex once baby is born. Intimacy is more than just sex; use this time to connect with your partner on another level. Create a deeper emotional bond as you both navigate parenthood.