Motherhood can be lonely, especially when you’re a new mom and your friends don’t have kids. No one in our inner circle has kids and our friends that do have kids, they’re teenagers. My baby is surrounded by adults and I realized I needed to make mom friends so my son would get invited to play dates. However, I never imagined it would be so hard and quite frankly I’m starting to give up. Help me, I need mom friends!
My baby, my world
I’m a stay-at-home mom and decided my son needed to be around kids his age to play and interact with. I looked into a few daycares and early stimulation classes but I think they are pricey and don’t fit my baby’s needs. I’m not ready to put my 14 month old baby in daycare be away from him, even if it’s for 1 hour. I don’t want to pay for him to make friends, I’ll wait until he wants to join a fraternity. The classes I looked into they sing to the babies, give them massages and encourage the babies to move around. My baby won’t stay still, he’s active and loves to run around and explore and won’t stay still sitting down.
Moms are weird
I started taking my baby to the park and to the baby section at the public library. I would approach the moms but my son had no interest in playing with the other children. I assumed the moms would be welcoming and friendly but all I got was odd looks and judgment. They would compare their kids. “Well, my kid did this and my kid does that and my kid bla bla”. I didn’t feel fit in their group and it started to feel like high school. Instead of “you can’t sit with us”, it felt like: “your kid can’t play with us.”
Bad mom aboard
At times I became insecure and worried I was ruining my son’s opportunity to make friends. I was anxious that my son would become antisocial and that it would be my fault. I didn’t feel good enough and tried really hard to make a good impression on the moms. I thought the moms would just flock to me and that life would be like a sitcom. Instead I felt like the Mila Kunis character from the movie Bad Moms. Being a mom is so hard and now I had the peer pressure of keeping up and being this type of mom that wasn’t me.
My kid have plenty of time to make friends
My husband made me realize that our son is a baby and he will have plenty of time to make friends. He will have years of schooling and his whole life to develop social skills. I can’t put that amount of stress and weight on my shoulders. His pediatrician said he’s perfectly healthy and if he doesn’t want to play with the other kids it’s ok. He marches at the beat of his own drum and I need to take a step back.
Being a mom gets lonely and although I appreciate that my childless friends genuinely have an interest in my mom life, they can’t relate. So yes, I need mom friends but I’ll let life take its course and instead I’ll focus my time and energy with my two best friends: my husband and son.