I value my friendships and keep my circle tight. During pregnancy and motherhood my relationships have changed, but I’ve discovered the beauty of an online community and have built honest friendships via social media. I’ve lost some friends but gained others. Although sometimes I want to feel like my old self, I’ve learned which friendships are worth keeping and which ones are worth nurturing.
When I got pregnant, none of my friends were moms. A college friend that I occasionally kept in touch with was pregnant with her 3rd child and she has become a god sent friend. Throughout my pregnancy she answered my questions, gave me advice and helped me prepare for motherhood. She has shown her support by being with me every step of the way. Those lonely nights, those days when my baby was sick and those days when my baby lived through another milestone. She has been a shoulder to cry on but she lives in another country. We communicate daily through social media but I feel like she is right by my side.
Thanks to social media I have built a supportive online community. Since I’ve become a mom a lot of acquaintances actually become true friends. The women that were moms started reaching out to me with advice and tips from teething, baby products to toddler tantrums. Several women that are not mothers but adore children say how lucky I am and how adorable my son is. They comment nice things on my posts, like my baby’s pictures and constantly ask if I need anything.
After I had my son, six friends have gotten pregnant and started asking me for advice and shared their fears of being a mom. These women are just like me, new moms that don’t have friends that are pregnant and need support more than ever. Although we communicate through social media, we share a connection and I have built true friendships.
Life as a mom
Life as a mom gets busy and we barely have time to ourselves. Even though we have friends we sometimes feel alone. We don’t have time to call or text our friends but please cut us some slack. We are consumed wit motherhood; it’s not an excuse but we honestly don’t intent to distant ourselves. We want our friends to call us, to invite us out to social events and to include us in their lives. We want to feel like our old self again. We might not be able to go out for girls’ night but we still want to feel like we matter.
Some of my friends have become distant. They feel that we don’t have anything in common anymore and say I have changed. I have. I’m devoted to my child but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about my friends. Some friends have shown they don’t care about my life right now. They don’t ask how I’m doing and they don’t ask about my son. Right now we can’t give each other what we want. They want someone to talk for hours
on the phone or to go out to dinner, to a movie or a bar. I want someone to just check in and ask how I’m feeling.
Friendships change as people grow. Although it’s hard to accept, some friendships are just not worth keeping. Friends support you through the various stages in life, they want you to be happy and in return they want the same love and appreciation.